A Space of Reclamation, Becoming Whole

Abstract

The Transpersonal Process

This report explores the coaching space as a space of reclamation, a potential ground for returning to wholeness.  The coaching journey of six clients is reflected upon from the view and experience of the coach through the process of holding space, facilitating Open Awareness (OA) and offering reflective guidance. The report introduces the themes of reclamation and wholeness and considers both the context of the coaching process and the background of the coach. The case studies are reviewed with reference to both techniques and the individual stories of the clients. Discussion includes methods of OA, observation of emotional themes and individual breakthroughs and consideration as to how their process links with the journey of reclamation and a return to wholeness.  The report closes with a reflection of the overall process and experience.

KEYWORDS: wholeness, reclamation, open awareness, empowerment, transpersonal

Introduction

I am curious about the individual experience of wholeness, or lack thereof, and keep returning to the recognition of this as the foundation of our power.  When speaking to wholeness, I refer to a feeling of connectedness to Self, to other beings, to the world and a larger unseen, but felt, energy of support. I suggest that wholeness is the experience of states such as contentment, peace, joy, care and hope over, for instance, lack, isolation, despair, hopelessness and doubt. My reference to power speaks to a stability that the experience of wholeness establishes and that, if there is a disconnect from wholeness, we maybe disempowered from potential. I understand that the experience of wholeness is collective yet lived uniquely(Hart, 2012), and I have met individual expressions of this. Through the coaching space, I have endeavoured to explore techniques to assist each client in navigating what arises from the field. I have observed how, as described by Dangeli (2021), will reveals itself spontaneously and may also guide the soul's journey of becoming in a way that is beneficial for the individual, others and the whole (win-win-win).  In this context will is the energy of intention and purpose that emerges and moves each of us forward whilst also being a generative energy in the larger fabric of life. I refer to becoming as a process of returning to wholeness and I view reclamation as the meeting and accepting of our fragmented parts, abandoned places and rejected feelings, so that we can experience our innate wholeness.

My enquiry proposes that the coaching space directly facilitates this through OpenAwareness (OA) and the co-creation of a non-judgemental space of listening, acceptance and reflective support.

Context

I coached six pro bono female clients who responded to an invitation I sent.  Each session, 60-90 minutes in duration, was done via zoom. I led three clients through six sessions, two clients, four, and one client, two sessions.  I acknowledge that each of these women has experienced me as their yoga teacher, which may have influenced our connection. Where a client has practised with me to an immersive degree, deeper trust may also have been established. I realise that my background in yoga and natural medicine and my seat as a white privileged cis-gender woman may influence my view and the unfolding of the sessions.

I hope to capture, within the limitations of this essay, the essence of my journey whilst demonstrating ways I have learnt to hold space and guide my clients. There was a wide exploration of the potential of the coaching space, yetI will focus on the 6-week process of Client 1, with reference to insights and experiences from other clients.  For ethical consideration I refer to them as Client 1 through to 6, to protect their identity.  All clients are aware that I may, anonymously, use content from our sessions in this essay.  In addition to the professional agreement sent out prior, I proposed a set of personal agreements (Appendix A) to which they were invited to contribute (Appendix A). I felt this advocated for what Lasley et al. (2015) referred to as shared power and the co-creation of empowering relationships.  At the end of the scheduled number of sessions, I asked each client to complete a feedback form.

Case Studies Review

Each session began with a moment of connection; the length was intuitive depending, for instance, if I felt they needed longer to settle. On occasion, it felt natural to prompt further inquiry, whereas other times, to lead sooner into OA.  The method, length and language of OA depended on what had been shared thus far, however I chose to use the Jumi BreathingTree (Dangeli, 2019) for the first and last session.  Client 5 reflected that, 'it was amazing to feel the difference between the first and last session' which affirmed it as a helpful reference point.  Sometimes I guided more intuitively, such as when I sensed a chaotic state and a need for simplicity and led Client 1 into body and breath, the spaces between the breath and into the space around from which she described an 'expansive' and 'lovely' state (Client 1, Session 2). Client 5 shared that the OA practices 'centred and grounded' her (Client 5, Feedback Form) whilst Client 2 described a connection to her 'intuitive soulful self', which helped her 'to stay present and less reactive' (Client 2, Feedback Form).

Client 1 expressed dominant needs around energy, belonging and connection and described her primary concern as 'heaviness' (Client 1, Session 1) which she went on to further identify as sadness connected to her childhood.  I was reminded how, as suggested by Lasley et al. (2015), our feelings can really be the voice of our needs, both met or unmet, and I invited her to consider what might be beneath the sadness.  I sensed an 'overall lack' and 'I wondered the ways she might be disconnected from wholeness or limited by an internal narrative of not-enoughness,'(Journal, Week 1). Through OA she touched a 'hope for something different'(Client 1, Session 1) and imagined herself thriving.  Her words affirmed a longing towards being valued, something which has been considered by Wall (2018) as a dominant need.

In session 2, Client 1 shared an experience which demonstrated how the coaching container can expand into the spaces in between the sessions. She had dreamt of nature, alive with green shoots and emergent buds, which inspired 'aliveness' and 'hope' even within a challenging week (Appendix B). With consideration of the mental domain and using the Transpersonal Coaching Method (TCM) as a map, she tracked how she felt safe in survival mode and named an 'addiction to stress' (Client 1,Session 2). She identified a lack of support growing up and its impact on herself-worth and ability to self-care. She found insight in realising her life's work gives to children in all the ways she felt unmet (Appendix C), which was an interesting reflection of how a personal challenge can be transformed into a gift as well as the power of renewed perspective.

In weeks 3 and 4, traversing the emotional and interpersonal domains, issues around belonging and connection were explored. She described feelings of comparison, anger and resentment and named, as I had felt, a reflex to focus on lack and to isolate herself rather than be 'exposed' or 'judged' (Client 1, session 3). When she described tightness in her throat and chest and a freeze state in her body, I guided her into somatic awareness, to which she responded quickly. I invited her to a time she felt safe and connected (Appendix D). She discovered the freeze state was 'protecting her', yet also telling her 'she's not good enough' (Client 1, session 3). In session 4, we explored the conflict between her tendency to withdraw alongside her yearning to connect and, through OA, she met the image of a flower bud. I invited the flower to open, yet she responded that it was not ready, so I steered the visualisation around a gently closed bud, amongst nature, connected through the root system. We honoured every stage of growth, through seed, bud and full bloom, as remarkable and essential. She felt renewed 'trust and acceptance' (Client 1, Session 4) towards being in the bud phase, which demonstrated a step in the process of reclamation as she embraced and accepted herself exactly as she was. For me, it was a lesson of collaboration, of attuning to the client with each moment. Client 1 was understanding how emotions were caught in her body, feeding the 'heaviness', and committed to daily movement and being in nature, demonstrating the empowerment and possibility available through her own insight and strategy.

The client arrived emotionally overwhelmed in week 5, and I felt a moment of self-doubt to hold the space, yet reminded myself of the power of presence. Through OA I led her to connect with the unshakeable, unmoving ground of her awareness. Quite different to the flower bud, she saw dark earthy greens and felt stability, something she was not familiar with. We explored the potential of stability and she was able to access her 'warrioress' (Client 1, Session 5) and discover courage to speak with her anger.  It was an 'important'(Client 1, week 5) meeting as the anger had never been given permission to be heard and hence reclaiming a part of her that had been rejected. The client described a 'resourceful, empowered' and 'grown up' place, 'somewhere that washers' (Client 1, week 5). I shared that I saw her 'Queendom'.  She was smiling and crying as she granted herself permission to reside in herQueendom (Appendix E). I reflected how, from being seen, 'healing pathways can emerge' (Simpson, 2016) and can, quite radically, support a return to wholeness. There were other occasions where I learnt the importance of giving space for an emotion or a part of the client to be seen and heard. In one example, working with the TCM, Client 2 met the identity of the little girl who was punished with hurtful words and felt unloved.  I facilitated an exploration, similar to that which Lasley et al.(2015) described, in connecting with ‘parts’, and the client was able to speak with and learn what the little girl needed (Appendix F). It was an interesting practice and demonstration of inviting a collaborative vision between 'selves',bringing 'integration' (Berchik et al, 2016) as parts of the self are reclaimed, which I recognise as an essential step in the process of becoming whole.

The sixth session with Client 1demonstrated some integration through an energy of acceptance within herself and her parents plus renewed commitment to movement, even through resistance. She saw how dominant the force of 'heaviness' had been and after a long time, felt 'lighter'.  The experience of herQueendom supported 'freshness' and 'clarity', reinforced by another dream of giving birth and a powerful sense that she can 'influence' (Client 1, Session6).  She received clarity towards steps to support her overall desired outcome (Appendix G) and during our final Jumi Tree OA described an energy of 'creation and possibility' (Client 1, Session6). Client 1 demonstrated clear insight from OA and I also recognised a demonstration of (her surrender to) will emerging to restore and move in a way that is win-win-win (Dangeli, 2021). It was an affirmation that, when we get out of our way, something propels us forward in away that feels aligned to something greater and centres closer to our wholeness.

Client 5 shared a narrative withClient 1 around fundamental needs being unmet as a child and felt undeserving of receiving care which was reflected in intimate relationships.  She described vulnerability and low self-worth alongside a feeling of being stuck or frozen, unable to commit in areas of life, such as work, for fear of failure. Through questioning she was able to identify how the weight of responsibility she experienced as a child presented as a need for freedom now. Through OA we inquired how freedom and commitment could sit together in the way 'yin and yang lovingly embrace each other in a circle of wholeness' (Hughes, 1994). Over following sessions, she felt 'expansive' and 'easeful' (Client 5, Session 2) in OA, recognising she was in a liminal phase essential for both the 'letting go' and 'updating the operating system' (Client 5, Session 2). This was an example of how acceptance supported the journey of reclamation and her growing awareness of the freedom and ease possible when, as described by Welwood (1982), we leave old structures behind.

Through sessions 2 and 3, Client 5met narratives of not-enoughness and shame and I considered how, as spoken toby Wong (2019), our healing requires us to embrace the shame we carry.  That in reclaiming our feelings and shadow parts we move closer to reclaiming our wholeness.  Client 5 acknowledged her anger and met sadness in her throat and chest. Strong emotions were moved and I consciously deepened into my heart space and OA with the intention of pure and complete acceptance.I noted that it was through somatic awareness she was able to gather insight from the emotions (Appendix H). On another occasion, Client 4 felt strong anxiety in her chest and guided through her body she met her 'power' and could presence the anxiety until it reduced (Appendix I). Both of these moments reflected my view that when we follow the sensations in our body with curiosity, meeting them with awareness and acceptance, they can reduce and regulate.  I was also reminded of how the body can resource and inform us if we listen and work with it.

Conclusion

I understand wholeness to be connected to our power and it was my wish to explore how the coaching space could support a return to wholeness. I referred to this process as the journey of reclamation and I have been fascinated to learn through the individual experience of each client.  I observed how the facilitation of OA supported both a radical shift in perspective and the regulation of emotional or nervous system state. This in turn moved clients into more resourceful states and renewed their capacity to discover their own solutions. Furthermore,I witnessed how our emotions and inner experiences are essential gateways towards healing and integrating our fragmented parts. Clients demonstrated inspiring willingness and courage to explore more challenging feelings which in turn brought them greater acceptance of themselves, a sense of reclamation.  OA demonstrated huge support throughout this process and in their capacity to observe how past experiences or outdated narratives were still informing their present.  From this understanding the clients were able to start visioning new stories with clarity towards what was needed and in closer alignment with their deeper needs, core values and emerging self-worth. The transpersonal coaching space demonstrated to support each client in becoming inspired and empowered to stay curious, to find fresh perspectives and to keep integrating all of the parts towards wholeness.

Appendix A

I agree: To create and hold sacred and brave space for one another; To show up with presence; To show up with an open mind;To show up with integrity; To show up with authenticity; To speak my Truth

Additional contribution from Client 3:

'To be honest and not be afraid and to take a risk' (Client 3, Session 1)

CoachingAgreements (November, 2021)

Appendix B

Over the first few sessions Client 1 mentioned, repeatedly, the time her family moved from the countryside to the city when she was a child. This appears to have been a painful and important time for her, one which she still carries. In her meeting with nature after her first week she was able to recognise that there is resistance for her which she connects to the pain of her childhood, despite longing to be in nature. I am curious to observe where or how else this childhood event may still be impacting or limiting her at this time.

Appendix C

There was a profound moment when Client 2identified that she was taking care of children in all the ways that she had not been met as a child. When I asked her to share what she was giving she named: Containment, care, a safe space to be themselves, a welcome to the whole of each of them, acceptance, togetherness, freedom to speak to their emotions.In this she identified what she had lacked and what she needed.

Appendix D

As I guided the client to remember a time she felt safe, yet connected, she described a table with toast and tea and a view of the ocean. She expressed the simplicity and comfort of a home space with tea and toast, yet the view of the ocean allowed her to remember her expansive nature and the possibility that comes with an open view.

Appendix E

Discovering her Queendom was a profound moment for Client 1. It was moving to witness as she recognised and accepted this place within where she could reside. After I invited her to rest into herQueendom she continued to smile and cry as she described seeing creatures, deer, trees and a covering of snow. She could not believe she discovered herQueendom but it felt very good. I was deeply moved and reminded myself of what we have access to within us.

Appendix F

When Client 2 met the little girl within she realised how often trauma from verbal abuse during her childhood was being triggered. In a gentle and loving meeting she was able to hear, from that part of her, that the little girl needed to be held by her, that it is her job now to take care and that she was not responsible for her mother's pain. That she is loved, seen and heard. That it is ok to feel sensitive and vulnerable and that the little girl and her grown up self, can experience and move through things together.

Appendix G

“I prioritise and take time for supportive practices like being in nature, meditating or singing. I take time to connect with myself and other people. I clear the physical, mental and emotional clutter to be able to show up whole heartedly. I nourish myself and others. I create beauty and harmony. listen and let myself be guided'.Needs and Values Form, Client 1

Client 1 had felt too exhausted with 'heaviness', to tend to self-care, to say yes to opportunities or to make important decisions. Through tending to the heaviness, bringing emotions into the light and taking small steps to meet her dominant needs she restored energy and clarity. She found courage to commit to ongoing studies in TranspersonalTherapy for children and to apply to an additional part time opportunity to work with Down's children. She felt inspired to sign up to a book club which she felt was a safe and an accessible place to connect to community.  During our final Jumi Tree practice she experienced Octopus arms growing from her shoulders, reaching out and a rainbow path unfolding before her.  She described it as energy of 'creation and possibility', it felt 'good and expansive''(Session 6)

Appendix H

During session 3 Client 5 met some strong emotions, layers of anger which were masking sadness and grief. I led her into her body where she felt constriction in her throat and chest. Inquiring deeper she realised she is always waiting until her edge to ask for what she needs and she is afraid to ask for fear of abandonment. She never felt allowed to have needs or any expectations from others and often was scared for her basic needs and safety as a child. Her relationships have reinforced this belief, for instance her recent partner told her she should have no expectations from him. Herself-worth felt damaged. She longed to have permission to expect something from others, permission to be fully herself, to be vulnerable and weak. Giving space to these feelings in the session started to let her know it is ok to feel these things.

Appendix I

I am learning a lot about the power of grounding into the body as a mechanism to meet and transmute strong emotions and anxiety and to connect to one's power. Today I led Client 4 into her roots and her lower belly, she was able to meet her anxiety and it dissolved. She found that when she connected to her root, her womb and her yoni, she meets her power. She feels grounded, confident and finds inner strength. She felt like she 'doesn't have to prove anything or please anyone'. She shared an image of a well suggesting that she can give without being depleted.

What takes her away from that? Self doubt, lack of connection to self. She recognised that embodied practice and nature help and it is tendencies towards comparison that create feelings of not enoughness. A sense of lack, it is triggered by external comments but it's already there. What else might help to soothe this feeling? Feeling connected, the presence of others, the right people – practice, presence. How would she be able to move through the world if she moved from this place? It would give her confidence to put herself out there. How would it feel? Things would flow organically, naturally, joyful, easeful, abundantly, loving. She would be able to support others to be themselves, she would create connections and community.

References

Berchik, Z. E., Rock, A. J. & Friedman, H.(2016). Allow me to Introduce My Selves,The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 48(1)

Dangeli, J. (2019).Open Awareness Handbook, (2nd ed.)

Dangeli, J. (2021). The Transpersonal Coaching Handbook, (2nd ed.)

Hart, H. (2012). Body of Wisdom, Women's Spiritual Power and How it Serves, O-Books.

Hughes, C. H. (1994). The one at Play: Awakening to I am being Me, International Journalof Transpersonal Studies, 13(1)

Lasley, M., Kellogg, V, Michaels, R and Brown,S. (2015). Coaching for Transformation:Pathways to Ignite Personal and Social Change, (2nd ed.), Discover Press.

Simpson, M. L. (2016). Feeling Seen: APathway to Transformation, International Journal of Transpersonal Studies,35(1

Wall, C. (2018). Valuing Self: The Gift of the Cosmos. In D. Firman (Eds). The Call of Self, Psychosynthesis LifeCoaching, Synthesis Centre Press.

Welwood, J. (1982). Vulnerability and Power in the Therapeutic Process: Existential andBuddhist Perspectives, The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 14(2)

           
Wong, P. T. P. (2019). Foreword: Fromshame to wholeness: An existential positive psychology perspective. InC.-H. Mayer, & E. Vanderheiden (Eds.), Thebright side of shame: Transforming and growing through practical applicationsin cultural contexts (pp. v-ix). Springer.

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Mischa Varmuza is a transpersonal coach and yoga practitioner.

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