Stay cool, learn to swim

      I only started learning last year 

      and now, I’m forty two 

      and if you already 

      know how to swim? Good for you

      this is for the people behind you

Stay cool, learn to swim

      Nah, fam, you’re not too heavy

      your bones are not too dense

      Pennywise was right

      in the end, everyone floats

Stay cool, learn to swim

      Your skin will thank you

      your mind will thank you

      and if there is blood in the water

      sharks will thank you

Don’t swim in the River Thames

      Nobody asked you to do that

Some things will always be true

      The sun always sets in the west
    right now is as good as it gets

      Romeo and Juliet? tragic 

      time is wasted on worry

      and everyone is made of pure

      unadulterated magic

      Except for Boris Johnson

Trans men are men

      trans women are women

      some things by now should be a given

It looks worse when it's online

      Facebook is not research no matter 

      the hours you spent on it. 

      There are no solutions 

      at the bottom of a doomscroll

      and you’re never at your best 

      when looking at someone else’s highlight reel

Time heals all wounds and makes new ones 

      But a hot shower will cure 99% 

      of bad vibes, truss me 

You should be nice to yourself 

      You should be nice to people

      except for nazis

      no one should never be nice to Nazis

There are so many ways to be yourself

      Don't get lost in the options

      all the paper straws in the world 

      won't save a single polar bear but 

      making Amazon pay their proper taxes could

all your idols will let you down

      Except for Keanu Reeves 

      cuz Keanu Reeves is perfect

You don't have to like Pink Floyd

      You don't have to like Prince

      none of it is by force

Every elder is a village

      But some villages are full of racists

      and are not worth the visit

Protect your peace

      Cherish your joints

      eat your fruits and vegetables 

      and mind your business

      don’t be afraid to dress 

      like an idiot at least once 

      in your life

Embrace your cringe

      New York is nice but 

      you should try Benin City

If they won’t let you join a union

      Start a mafia

      the means you cannot seize

      you should steal 

If you love doing a thing, and 

      You're not hurting anyone or yourself? 

      do the thing. Don’t let anybody stop you 

      doing the thing. If you love shoplifting 

      from department stores, do the thing

      department stores aren't people

Sometimes the answer is to sleep on it

      Sometimes you need to face it head on

      sometimes it's scarier in your head

      and when you stop running, you realise 

      the monster was a shadow all along

Your heart will be broken 

and You will break hearts, and when 

      the dust settles in your spirit, 

      do not forget to forgive yourself

Call all the friends 

      You've fallen out with

      tell them you miss them

      dying right is overrated

      That does not mean you should down 

      a bottle of Merlot and text 

      your former lover, nothing good 

      will come from that

      Recognise the difference 

      between alone and lonely

More often than not you won’t 

      Resolve all loose ends, your life 

      isn’t that kind of movie, it's more 

      like a rambling soap opera that'll 

      eventually run out of budget

I hope you get old

      I hope when you get old 

      compassion is cool again

      if you’re lucky, one day you’ll 

      wake up, and you’ll be out of 

      the zeitgeist’s eye. You won’t 

      recognise the music, you’d rather 

      go to bed at ten. Your pleasures 

      will be gentler, movements slow

      goalposts shifted, your former 

      burdens slightly lifted, and that 

      would be okay, it happens to 

      most of us 

Maybe by then you’d have stayed cool

      Maybe you’d could do something else 

      with your life

Like learn to swim.

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